I know it isn't that big of a deal to start a blog. I mean, everyone and their mother has one (especially the mothers!). But yet, here I am, almost 30, starting my blog and feeling giddier than a school girl at her first boy-girl dance. I actually have butterflies!
I only recently discovered blogs at all. My friend Emery has a blog called moms are for everyone! and I am completely addicted to it. She is poinient and thoughtful and incredibly inspiring. Not to mention adorable and multi-talented. And, she has one of the only children in the world who is actually as cute as my son. Needless to say, if I didn't like her so much, I would totally hate her. But what makes me most jealous is that she has a regular writing practice. She writes almost every single day. And when she doesn't have anything to write about, she writes until she does. At first I was completely blown away by this. But then, slowly, my jealousy turned into an idea. If I wanted to write so badly, why didn't I just do it?
As it turns out, there were plenty of reasons. None of them were very good but they were reasons all the same. For one, writing takes effort. Sometimes a lot of effort. It forces you to really pay attention to your life so you don't accidentally miss the interesting bits. And, you have to be disciplined. The only way your writing will ever get better is if you do it all the time.
In addition to those very practical reasons, there were also the really big scary reasons that I almost don't want to admit, even now. Like, who am I to write a blog? Why would anyone want to waste their time reading my thoughts? Do I even have any thoughts worth writing about? Also, and here's the really big one, what if I suck? Thinking you're good at something is easy if you've never really allowed yourself to try and fail.
Obviously, I decided to throw all that aside and do it anyway. Because what kind of a mother would I be if I never showed my child that it's OK to be scared and vulnerable. How else do we ever grow?