Friday, March 28, 2008

Pacify me.

I need to be swaddled. If you're thinking that sounds kinky, you obviously don't have a baby. Swaddling means wrapping a baby really tight so they can't move their arms or legs. It may sound borderline abusive but, trust me, it works. No baby can resist the swaddle. If you think yours doesn't like it, you're just not doing it tight enough.

That's why I want to try it. Don't you think it would work wonders on my control issues? I mean, if I COULD NOT move I would eventually have to resign myself to being still. And calm. And content. Or maybe my body would be still but my mind would be racing. Hmmm...not exactly what I'm looking for.

There are books and books chock full of no-fail techniques to calm babies. The Contented Little Baby and The Happiest Baby on the Block are two of my personal favorites. I think it's great that these experts figured out how to teach people to care for their babies - trust me, we owe our sanity to them! - but I think it's about time they wrote follow up books. Who wouldn't want to be a contented big person or the happiest grown up on the block? The swaddle is not going to get us there. We need further instructions!

1 comment:

30 Minute Mommy said...

I swear by swaddling. I wanted to swaddle my husband and take a picture but he said no way! Shame. Would have been funny.