Friday, April 18, 2008

Stuck on you.

A shop down the street sells neighborhood bumper stickers that you'll find stuck to anything from a beat up old van to a sparkly new convertible. And of course the many wagons and hybrids. Here are a few of the stickers that make me laugh:

37206: Over the river and through the hood
From downtown Nashville you drive across the river and past the projects to get to my house. It's what they call a transitional neighborhood. I've heard some talk that the city might move the projects because apparently some people don't want to pay half a million dollars for a home and still hear gunshots at night. Wussies.

37206: Not just for gay people anymore
I guess a lot of neighborhoods like mine start the transition when gay men start buying and renovating old houses that have been neglected. They're able to restore old homes like no one's business and since it's two buff guys living together, they don't have to be scared of living next door to criminals. Thanks, gays!

37206: We'll steal your hearts and your lawnmower
Having your lawn mower stolen is sort of a right of passage around here. When we first moved in, Bill was out front mowing the lawn when he saw our neighbor Steve and walked over to say hi. Steve freaked out and told Bill to NEVER leave his lawn mower out like that. Bill kind of laughed and said, "Dude, I'm right here." Steve gave him a real serious look and said, "I know. But crackheads are fast."

37206: Where everybody knows your dog's name
A bar in our neighborhood has a weekly "lappy hour" where dogs get special treats like, um, discounted water from the hose? I have no idea. I love my dog but have never considered taking her to lappy hour. We took her to the neighborhood dog park once but her herding instincts came out with a vengeance and she got bit trying to corral a herd of Golden Retrievers and Weimaraners. I like to keep her securely tethered to my chair on the front porch where, in the last week, I have witnessed a man on a skateboard being pulled down the street by a bulldog and a man in his front yard playing with two large dogs on the ground while giving a third a piggy back ride. That takes "man's best friend" to the next level!

1 comment:

Courtney said...

This is hilarious! Love the commentary!