Fortunately, I didn't have to go far to find a book on marriage. Not long after we were married my mother-in-law passed along a book to me that she had received from her brother's wife. She told me it was the kind of book every wife should read. The title? The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbandsby Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Yeah. As you can imagine I rolled my eyes and thought, "Pshaw! Like I'll ever read that crap. Where's the book on properly caring for wives?" And then I shoved it into the bookcase and forgot it ever existed.
But we must have moved it to Nashville with us because about a year ago, I noticed Bill reading it in bed one night. I'm sure I jumped all over him like, You know that's Dr. Laura from the radio, right? The totally conservative bitch who berates women for having sex out of wedlock and sounds mean like Suze Orman? Why are you reading that? And he was like, She's really onto something here. If you did all this stuff, our marriage would be amazing! And I was like, Oh, I see how it is. I suck at being a wife so now I have to read a crappy book to figure out how to fix it? I've got a better idea! Since you're the one reading the damn book why don't you just do what she says and make our marriage amazing yourself?! Humph!
See? I so did not need lessons on how to be a loving wife.
Bill couldn't put the book back on the shelf fast enough (I can be kind of terrifying) which is where I found it this week after realizing the whole 'til death do us part thing is kind of a big deal. (Why I never thought about this before is beyond me.) I started reading it and got sucked in immediately. Yes, there's a lot of crap to sift through but there are also a lot of really interesting ideas. And plenty of things I could see in myself that could use improvement. Her basic premise is this: Men are simple. If you make them feel loved, appreciated and respected, they will bend over backwards to make you happy.
I can get behind that.
Yesterday was our 9 year wedding anniversary and for the first time in the history of our relationship, I went out of my way to plan something special for my husband (imagine!). I got a babysitter, packed a picnic basket with some of his favorite foods, and showed up at his office at the end of the day to surprise him with a blindfold (which he chose not to wear for fear of getting carsick). Then we drove to a nearby vineyard for a wine tasting and a picnic dinner.
It was so much fun! We ate way too much cheese (which I think might be one of my favorite things to do) and talked about all kinds of things just like the old friends we are.
We polished off a bottle of wine and went off to explore the vineyards hand in hand. We took funny pictures of each other while nearby picnicking couples gawked. Then we laughed and laughed and took some more.
Check it out - he's "falling" in love with me all over again.
He was totally surprised and seemed genuinely thrilled that I wanted to do something nice for him. It made me really happy, too.