Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tick tock.

Did you know that full term for pregnancy is anywhere from 37 to 42 weeks? So that whole "due date" thing is really just a bunch of crap. It's actually more like a due month. Which is fine, of course, just a little vague.

37 weeks pregnant.

For one, it makes any sort of planning somewhat hilarious. Especially when your entire family lives all the way across the country. My sister booked a flight to come out mid-August and the best I can tell her is, "We might have a three week old; I might still be pregnant!" Not that it matters that much but I really want to have a "come hold my baby so I can have a drink / it's our 10 year anniversary" party and think it would be super fun to do it while she's in town. But there's no way I'm hosting a kegger if I'm still pregnant or only a few days home from the hospital. Although we did have a birthday party for Bill when Liam was 6 days old and that turned out alright (if you don't count me not being able to sit down all night on account of the situation).

On second thought - I look exhausted.

Being full term for such a long time also confuses the heck out of non-pregnant people (especially guys) who seem to think that a woman with a belly the size of, well, a full grown human baby, should probably NOT be out and about amongst normal people. The due date offers them some form of relief (Oh, okay, not until August 9th. Phew! I thought maybe you were going to go into labor right here at this party!), but then I throw the whole due month idea on them and they quickly excuse themselves to go get another drink.

I can't blame them. I mean, pregnant women are kind of bizarre. It's just so, you know, miraculous that it seems a little sideshow freakish. Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention to the center ring where our very own Gestational Gina is growing a human being INSIDE HER BODY! At least I'm not the bearded lady.

At this stage of pregnancy, a lot of attention turns to getting the baby OUT. If I was a better student I would probably be spending my days walking and having sex, walking and having sex, walking and having sex. I mean, isn't that what they say you should do to get the baby out? But here's the thing. It's the middle of summer. In Nashville. Going for a walk is not only the last thing in the world a pregnant lady would want to do, it's also downright dangerous.

(I'm not usually scared by things in the news but when it works to my advantage, I'll take it.)

And when it comes to the sex, well, let's just say...it takes two to tango. I can't say I blame my husband for not wanting to touch me with a ten foot pole. I mean, if my hugely pregnant wife told me her midwife could feel the baby's head with her finger and then suggested she have lots of sex to get her cervix primed for labor, I might have a few concerns of my own too. Sure, we all know sex during pregnancy is fine (even when the baby's head is RIGHT THERE) but can anyone really explain how? I don't think so.

Fortunately, I'm not in any hurry. I had a quick moment of panic at my appointment last week when my midwife made it sound like I could have the baby in the car on the way home but now that the house if more or less ready, I'm good to go whenever Finn decides to come out.

I still feel really good which is amazing considering at this stage in my pregnancy with Liam I was about ready to kill myself or the next person who asked, "When you gonna have that baby?" Any day I don't go into labor feels like borrowed time. I get another full nights sleep. Read more books about the awesomeness of birth. Find an excuse to swing by Panera Bread for a cinnamon crunch bagel. Cash in the 9 months pregnant card for a foot massage. Spend a few hours in a nice cool bath. Make out with my air conditioning. Take a nap. It's like the perfect summer vacay!

I think the only thing I really have to do before Finn is born is pack my suitcase for the hospital. It's on my to-do list for today right after "eat huge breakfast" and "lounge around in bed all afternoon". It should be pretty easy considering I've been through this before. I probably spent more time and brain power on packing the perfect hospital stay suitcase for Liam's birth than I have spent on anything in the last four and a half years and I never once opened the darn thing. Lesson learned.

Besides, I don't have time to spend all day packing a suitcase. I have much more pressing things on my agenda.

If I don't take the time to do these things now, it could be a very long time before I get another chance. And I, for one, would much rather be safe than sorry.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

yes..I just wish i was in the bed next to you eating ice cream and telling you what Oprah said about maintaining a good relationship...sigh..a few more weeks, baby or not here I come!

-Moose

Callie said...

love this one! I feel almost the exact same way. :)

jen scaffidi said...

i know this is terrible, but i only just now realized that bill looks a little like a muppet.

good thing you and the boy(s) are cute!

tell the old man i said hello though, please. and big hugs to you as well.

No Mommy Brain said...

moosie, i'm counting down the days!