Hi there! Remember me? I'm the girl who was all, "Being pregnant is awesome! And natural childbirth? Exhilarating!" Before that I probably said some pretty upbeat stuff about motherhood too, huh?
That was before I had my ass handed to me by the fourth trimester. I mean, wow. Seriously. Who knew eight pounds of cuteness could pack such a punch? The past twelve (twelve!) weeks have been like a complete blur. And the only reason I can even tell you about it at all is because we are just now starting to come out of the new baby fog. I may not have showered in a couple days but I am sitting at my desk without a baby strapped to my body. That's progress!
Okay, twelve pounds of cuteness.
I used to feel pretty solid when it came to being a mom but now I am seriously outnumbered. As it turns out, two kids are way harder than one. No. Really. WAAAYYY harder than one. It's like juggling, which I suck at, ALL THE TIME.
Totally worth it.
The other night I desperately wanted to read up on colic and/or sleep issues while simultaneously researching what to say to a sensitive preschooler who is having trouble fitting in at school. And yet, I was too busy nursing an overtired baby while saying all the wrong things to my four year old to even consider picking up a book. Not that I could stay awake long enough to read much anyway.
And that pretty much sums up the last 12 weeks.
So anytime you came to this website over the last couple of months and thought, "What the hell? Is this girl ever going to write anything ever again?", just know that not posting was sort of symbolic for what I had to say. Anytime I didn't write it was my way of saying, "Raising two kids is a busy ass job!" or "Hey fourth trimester - bite me!" or "Got milk?" or "I think my brain came out with the placenta!" or "When preschoolers attack!" Pretty much take your pick.
I know you rock star parents out there who have had more than one child and yet somehow managed to still kick ass and take names are probably thinking I'm a total loser. But think back to the very beginning. There must have been some sort of a learning curve, right? Like a few weeks (or months...) where you felt like a crazy person who didn't know your ass from your elbow. Where your house seemed to fall apart around you while you put every last bit of your energy into keeping both children alive and well. Where you somehow forgot to make dinner every night. Where you dreaded anyone else doing something nice for you because you knew you would never remember to thank them in a timely manner. Where your bed became almost like your uniform because you spent so much damn time in it.
No? Okay. Well, maybe it's just me. But! The good news is I definitely feel like things are starting to come together around here (we're still not on a schedule or sleeping through the night or anything like that, but still - progress!). It may have taken me a little time to find my footing but what do you expect? My family grew by a whole person for godsakes! That's kind of a big deal.
And while I'm more than happy to have put all my time and energy into that new person lately (especially now that he's smiling and laughing!), I'm starting to see the importance of diversification. See, when you're doing one thing and one thing only and feel like you're failing at it (we all have those moments), it's kind of hard on the psyche. But if you have a lot of balls in the air and drop, say, the parenting one, it can actually make things a little easier. (i.e. "I totally sucked at being a mom today but I sure am proud of what I wrote!")
So hopefully that means you'll see a little more of me around here from now on. You know, for diversification sake. Oh, and also? The fourth trimester? It's OVER! And I'm pretty sure there's not a fifth.