Thursday, June 9, 2011

Aloha.

Once I had a sore throat that was different than any other sore throat I had ever had so when I described it to Bill and Liam I said, "It's not like a sore throat; it's like a sore throat."

They've made fun of me for it ever since.

I generally try to be less of a dumb dumb in writing (if only I could re-read and edit the words that fall out of my mouth!) but I'm on vacation so the only way I can think to describe what is about to happen here is this:

This isn't like a post; it's just like...a post.

You know. So you won't think I'm dead. Or worse yet, scared.

See, right before I went missing, my boys and I were featured in an article in The Tennessean titled, "Are proud moms and dads a cyberthreat to their kids?" In the article I was all, "Um...no. Oprah said if someone is going to hurt your kids, it's not going to be a stranger hiding in the bushes or lurking on the Internet, it's going to be someone you know. So yeah. What she said." I intended to talk more about the topic here (in a more re-read and edited way, of course) but then life got in the way and two weeks went by without so much as a peep (or not even, like, a peep) and I'm sure the poor reporter has been freaking out like, "Oh, no! I made her think about her actions and it completely ruined her! She realized her kids were going to get raped by the Internet because she shared some photos and stories about them and now she's probably in the witness protection program or something!"

Totally...

Okay, so it's not the witness protection program, it's Hawaii. And I'm not here because I'm scared of the Internet, we're just on vacation. But you have to admit the timing is kind of funny.

We arrived in Kona on Monday after spending nine days in Reno with family. Most notably, with my brand new beautiful nephew JACK!!!

Love him.

I flew there with my two boys alone and then Bill met us later in the week.

Oh, how we missed him...

Getting there was not too bad although I'm pretty sure nine months is the age when babies realize being confined to a lap all day is for the birds. Finn didn't want to sit, he wanted to stand up and grab my face and scream happy screams and dive bomb the stranger in the aisle seat and lick the arm rest and crawl all over Liam and eat my hair. And that was all before his trip to Yakima Valley. If you've ever considered giving your mostly toothless baby a bite of your granola bar and thought, "What's the worst that could happen?", the answer is you could be projectile vomited on on an airplane.

You're welcome.

But that's all behind us now and I can assure you, it was more than worth the trip.

This place is absolute paradise. If I had to take a dozen trips to Yakima Valley to get here, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Bill's parents have owned this condo since he was a little boy so he's been coming to Kona all his life. My first trip was on our honeymoon; Liam's was when he was one. So I think little Finn is the youngest member of our family to ever set foot on this beach. Yay, Finn!

(We say that about a million times a day because his new favorite trick is clapping. And playing peek-a-boo. And crawling. And pulling himself up. And drinking milkshakes through a straw. And eating sand. He's a busy little guy...)

Alright, so I'm not dead or scared. I'm in Hawaii and it's awesome and I'm having the time of my life. Aren't you glad we cleared that up? (I swear, I can actually hear your eyes rolling...) My clapping baby just woke up from his nap so I'm going to slather him with sun screen so we can walk down the beach and eat sand or snorkel or whatever else suits our fancy.

Aloha!

(I understand if you're totally hating me right now. I would be too. But there's good news! My in-laws rent this place out and it's totally amazing, family-friendly and reasonable. It's a bit of a haul from Nashville but if you're on the west coast it's a piece of cake to get here. E-mail me if you're interested!)

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