Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Lunch date.

I helped out in Liam's class for a bit this morning and then stayed to have lunch with him in the cafeteria. It was a lot like I remember from when I was in school only now I'm SUPER popular. Like, WAY more popular than I ever hoped or dreamed I could be. Maybe even the most popular person in the entire lunch room! I know. It was super flattering. And completely insane...

"Liam's mom! Matthew is my neighbor and this one time we-"

"Will you open this?"

"Are you HER mama or HIS mama?"

"Look at my sandwich," devilish grin. "Carrot."

"Miss Maggie! Miss Maggie! Watch this! Oops. I got potatoes on my shoe..."

"Can I get my drink?"

"In the bath my hair looked different. Like black almost. But it's when I was a baby cause now when-"

"Look at my sandwich now," eyebrows raised. "A carrot and a goldfish!"

"LIAM'S MOM! This one time I was at my friend's house and his house is like here," gesturing wildly. "And mine is here so-"

"I can't even hold Pepper. She's so HEAVY!"

"Please can I get my drink?"

"My cat died. And now we have another cat but she doesn't like me and see on my arm where she scratch-"

"Then I got poison ivy and there was some right here on my lip. See?" Face smooshed uncomfortably close to mine. "Right there. But then it went away and-"

"What's that? Apple? Can I taste?"

"Mama, see that girl in the red shirt? That's-"

"But I never even see him because-"

"This milk is nasty. Do you like milk? Do you want this one? It's nasty."

"I need to go get my drink!!!"

"Will you open this?"

"We call him Ducky. Get it? Like Duck-ee? Hahahahahaha!!! Duck-"

"Taste these chips. Please? Just one. Here," hand shoved in my face. "Taste this one."

"Miss Maggie? Will you play with me on the playground?"

"YOU'RE COMING TO THE PLAYGROUND?!?"

"Can I sit by you?"

"Will you play with me?"

"We play dinosaurs and I'm a velociraptor because they're the fiercest and...LIAM'S MOM!!! Do you want to be a dinosaur?!"

It was NON-STOP conversation! Of course, conversation at the kindergarten table means twenty five-year-olds with food in their mouths all talking at the same time. And gesturing! And spitting food! And grabbing my arm! And since five-year-olds can be hard to understand on a good day, let alone in a loud lunch room with food in their mouths, I would be surprised if I understood half of what they wanted me to hear. Which honestly didn't seem to bother them a bit. I think they were just happy to have me there. And the feeling was completely mutual.

Although next time I'll be packing a P B and Xanax in my lunch box. That scene is bananas!

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