Monday, October 7, 2013

Make it twerk.

Sometimes I think this homeschool thing is messing with me.

I mean, when you spend your whole life believing something (like school) is required only to find out you can more or less opt-out and the world keeps spinning, you can't help but wonder what else you're doing because you think you have to when in fact you maybe don't.

This kind of thinking sneaks up on me at weird times. Like last night. I got out of the shower and suddenly thought, "I should cut my hair!" It certainly wasn't the first time I've thought taking scissors to my own head was a good idea (I used to pride myself on my DIY haircuts), but this time was different.

It started out as it always does - as a knee-jerk reaction to someone else's great hair (thanks a lot, Instagram) - but it quickly turned into some sort of yaya sisterhood moment. As soon as I saw the scissors in my hand I thought, "Well, this is a terrible idea." But then the renegade homeschooler part of my brain was like, "Grrrrl...if you want to cut your hair, CUT YOUR HAIR! There aren't any rules in life. We make our own rules! You're not gonna get in trouble if you don't have your hair professionally cut every 6-8 weeks. Even if you totally eff it up, who cares?! Just march into a salon with your mangled head held high and DEMAND a shame-free fix!"

I just realized why hippies have dreadlocks.

Anyway. The good news is I was only in the market for a bang trim not a full fledged makeover like Hannah in that episode of Girls.

Phew. The bad news? I somehow gave myself side burns. I don't even know. All I can do is blame Zooey Deschanel and forgo pony tails for a while.

As I was cutting, I knew I was doing it wrong. Even before I snipped the hairs right above my ears I thought, "No, this can't be right..." But then the bra burning hippie in me pulled the trigger and...hello, random side burns! Which, if I'm completely honest, is just a nice way of saying mullet. 

I gave myself a mullet.

All I can say to redeem myself and my renegade ways is this: I actually don't hate it. Maybe because it's subtle (unlike my last mullet in the fourth grade that involved a PERM and was inspired by a band I saw at the State Fair...) or maybe because I don't really care that much. Mullet, schmullet, you know? So what if I'm the only fool at the grocery store with business in the front and a party in the back? Maybe, like homeschooling, mullets will start to gain a little traction and the next thing you know we'll all look like Joe Dirt. 

Stranger things have happened.

And if not? Well, that's one way to get me off pony tails for a while...

Dear Miley... I get it. Sometimes a girl's just gotta twerk.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My favorite line: unlike my last mullet in the fourth grade that involved a PERM and was inspired by a band I saw at the State Fair

such a funny post!