Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Phone home.

I like to think that even though I like my iPhone, I don't need my iPhone. When I hear about people going back to a flip phone in order to get their life back I think, "Eh, what's the big deal? I could do that." Not that I should do that or I will do that but I could. If I wanted. I could quit this smart phone anytime...

But today I accidentally left it at home and it was like leaving the house without a leg. Only worse because I don't rely on my leg to give me directions, put me in touch with people or take pictures. 

Did I really just say that leaving the house without my phone was worse than NOT HAVING ONE OF MY LEGS?

Hi, my name is Maggie and I'm addicted to my smart phone. 

Dang. I really did think I was better than this. But it turns out I'm just as dumb as the woman who drove her car into a lake because Siri told her to. Guess that means I need to stop rolling my eyes when I go to shows and people block my view of the stage with their stupid camera phones. AND feeling superior to the moms who talk to their kids while scrolling through Facebook. 

I was 20 minutes late picking Liam up from science today because I got lost. Lost! When was the last time you can remember experiencing that? How about in a place you've lived for nine years? And, no, this was not his first day of class. He's been going since August.

I had so many excuses but sadly they all circled back to forgetting my phone.

I had to go a little out of my way to drop a package off at the UPS store because I couldn't search for a closer location online and thought it would be smarter to push it a little time wise than to drive aimlessly in the direction of Liam's class while squinting at all the signs in every shopping center. I thought I probably had just enough time to make it there and still grab him on time but I couldn't be sure because who's to say if the clock in my van is right. Is it my car that's ten minutes fast, or Bill's? I usually just double check on my phone but, you know. So I'm racing back from the UPS store to Liam's teacher's house saying, "No whammies, no whammies!" thinking if I could just get there without making a single mistake I might actually be on time. Or early or late depending on the real time. Worst case scenario I'd be 10 minutes late which is totally out of my comfort zone but not inexcusable. 

Except worse case scenario was actually a series of whammies that got me so turned around I'm lucky I ever found my way there. I finally just had to backtrack close enough to my house so I could pick up the route I normally take.

And of course I couldn't call to let anyone know I was running late so they probably thought I was dead. Or super irresponsible. Either way, not my fave.

I also couldn't confirm the after-class play date I had promised Liam so when we got to his friend's house to pick him up (more than 40 minutes late without calling or answering any of his dad's texts...), no one was home. They gave up on me like I gave up on my ability to think without a pocket computer.

But the worst thing about not having my phone - the absolute worst - was pulling up next to a farm truck on the freeway carting a whole shipment of pumpkins into town. Hundreds and hundreds of bright orange happy pumpkins just cruising down the freeway like a big ol' Octoberfest / Happy Halloween / best thing to take a picture of on a beautiful fall day EVER.

I would have hashtagged the shit out of those pumpkins.

{Insert photo here. OMG I wish I could...}

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