Monday, October 21, 2013

Walking the walk (in uncomfortable shoes).

So, a few weeks ago, I signed up for an online course that Oprah and Brené Brown put together. (Brené Brown is an author, professor, vulnerability researcher and TED talker extraordinaire, Oprah is, well...OPRAH.) I didn't totally know what to expect but signed up because someone I love was signing up and I thought it would be a fun thing to do together. This is how I get myself into a lot of things...running a marathon (or attempting to), getting pregnant the first time, cutting my hair... If there's a bandwagon, you better believe I'll be jumping on it.

Anyway, the class is about learning to live wholeheartedly and follows Brené's book The Gifts of Imperfection. This week we're working on courage, compassion and connection and learning some tools to help us go from "What will people think?" to "I am enough." 

{I know it's cheesy. I KNOW. But honestly this is some of my most favorite stuff to do in the whole world. Self help is my JAM. And I'm learning to be more authentic so I don't even care if you judge me. I'm cheesy and new-agey - deal with it.}

One of our first assignments was to write a pledge on our hand, take a selfie with it showing, print it out and stick in in our journal. At first, I thought, "Well, I can't do this assignment today. I haven't even showered! I'd better wait until I'm having a good hair day and my makeup is just right and there's really great lighting..." Then I realized that was completely missing the point of being IMPERFECT so I just did it. Snap, crop, done.

I had greasy hair and no makeup (not even eyebrow pencil which I've pretty much worn every waking second since the Great Over Tweeze of '94), my handwriting was practically illegible and, even though you can't exactly tell from the picture, I had some serious coffee breath. I used Instagram to crop it but deleted it right away so it wouldn't show up on my feed then moved on to my next journal assignment and the rest of my day.

Tonight I hopped on Instagram for a second (literally a second...I'll explain in a minute) and noticed I had a bunch of likes and even a, "Hell Yeah!" comment. I was super confused until I realized, to my horror, that my self-help selfie had NOT been deleted like I thought it had. All day long while I was going about my business, people were seeing me in a way I don't like to be seen and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Pretty epic timing considering the fact that the word VULNERABILITY shows up on just about every page of this book. If this class was for credit, I would be well on my way to earning an A...

{About Instagram... I don't possess the willpower to stop looking at it so over the weekend I forced myself to unfollow every single person I've been following. I debated blocking everyone who follows me too but it seemed like way more effort than it was worth (you have to go to each individual person's page which just seemed like a total nightmare considering I honestly can't trust myself not to photo stalk). I should probably just delete it all together but I really like using it to edit and play around with photos. I just liked it a lot more when I just used it for fun, not social networking...}

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