Monday, January 5, 2015

Like riding a bike.

A few years ago Bill bought himself a bike. It was one of those fancy road bikes - much thinner and more dangerous looking than the old Costco mountain bikes we have in the basement (matching except for mine has a baby seat). His new bike looked a lot like the 10 speed I got for Christmas in 4th grade only thinner and more dangerous somehow. The handlebars were so low! Like, even lower than the seat if you can imagine. It looked super aerodynamic, sure, but also like an accident waiting to happen. I mean, how was anyone supposed to balance on two thin wheels with their ass up in the air like that? Maybe if he was decked out in tight pants and hunched over all serious like Lance Armstrong I could see it. Maybe. But in normal clothes on a casual ride around the neighborhood? No way, man.

But Bill was undeterred. And how could I argue? We've all heard the expression, right?

"I haven't ridden a mechanical bull in years! I hope I remember how..."

"Don't worry! IT'S JUST LIKE RIDING A BIKE. Once you learn, you never forget!"

I mean, I had to believe riding a bike was probably like "riding a bike". Right?

So one night when Bill strapped on a helmet, threw a six pack of beer into a messenger bag and took off on his bike to his friend's house, I hardly even feared for his life. And things apparently went really well. At first. But then that pesky bag slipped off his shoulder, slammed into his legs and took his ass out in the middle of the street. He jumped right up and pretended to be texting so he totally saved face, but still - that had to hurt.

And it totally goes to show, that even riding a bike is sometimes not like riding a bike. Which leads me to believe that other things - easy, routine, previously mastered things - are not always easy to jump right back into after a hiatus. So all the normal stuff we haven't done in a couple weeks - getting dressed before noon, leaving the house, doing the things, eating food other than cheese - might take a little getting used to. We're off to a pretty good start - words are being written and I'm wearing real clothes! - but I'm prepared to jump up and start texting as soon as I crash and burn.

Welcome back, friends. I hope your holidays were well worth the awkward reintroduction to normal life. xo

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