Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Time keeps on slipping.

Liam started homeschool history club at Belle Meade Plantation today. It's his first time in the program so I'm hoping he likes it. It's just another one of the random things I heard about from a friend or read about on our homeschool group listserve or stumbled across on the Internet and signed up for without giving it much thought. Things like this tend to book up fairly quickly and I'm just unorganized enough that if I don't pounce on something the first time I hear about it, it slips out of my mind (or my inbox) and disappears into the ether to never be seen again.

I might need a better system. Like a post it or something.

Anyway. We drove over right after dropping Finn at mother's day out ("Let me guess," Liam said. "This plantation is not in East Nashville...") and arrived with enough time for me to walk Liam in and get him settled. When I checked him in, I noticed Liam and Finn were on the roster.

"Was I supposed to bring my son, Finn, too?" I asked the lady with the clipboard.

"He's signed up for the pre-K class. Do you want to keep him on the list and bring him next time?"

"Uh, sure," I said, not writing it down and knowing I would immediately forget. "Thanks..."

I looked around at the other kids in the pre-K class and realized Finn was just as big if not bigger than all of them. How is this possible? I mean, isn't he my baby? Babies can't learn history!

I helped Liam find his group and walked back to my car feeling really nostalgic all of a sudden. Since I was already all the way across town I decided to go to Target to pick up a few things for the boys new work station (more on that soon!). As I was strolling leisurely up and down the aisles (such a treat for some reason), I found myself gazing longingly at the baby jammies. They were so little and SO cute.

And would not even kind of fit either of my boys.

They're big kids now. And while I know they've been growing steadily all along, part of me feels as if this happened all of a sudden. Like yesterday I was a newish mom with little kids and today I am a veteran mom with bigger kids. Several close friends have had babies recently and it seems like the most foreign thing in the world. Like, I can't even remember what it was like to be pregnant or fold onesies or nurse a baby. It seems like another lifetime.

I left Target and noticed a Panera Bread right next door. Panera happens to be where I hung out a lot toward the end of my pregnancy with Finn. On the days I had appointments with my midwife, I'd drop Liam off at preschool and then head over for a cinnamon crunch calorie bomb before my weigh in. I'd enjoy the free Internet and all the nice attention you get from strangers when you're youthful and pregnant and glowing with life (that feels like a MILLION years ago). Where better to nurse a serious nostalgia attack and eat my feelings at the same time?

So now I'm sitting at Panera all by myself and I keep getting all teary eyed and emotional. This snuck up on me big time, you guys. I swear I don't want another baby and yet...I think knowing I've moved on to this next stage of my life is hitting me kind of hard at the moment. Like growing pains or something. It's just weird to feel yourself slip from one chapter of life to the next, you know?

I'm probably also subconsciously preparing to see my family tomorrow (my sister and I are both flying in to spend a few days with my mom and dad). There's nothing like spending time with a rapidly aging parent to make you seriously understand the passage of time...

not nearly as long ago as it seems...

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